anoche

There is a cave and a motherly woman lives there, though I do not know if I ever see her. I arrive with my friend Sue, who has just left her home in search of some place rejuvenating. We have arrived on a spring day in the afternoon, so the light is warm. At first there are a few of us, mostly women, then more young people (we all seem to be in our 20's). A small settlement has begun and the cave is more and more crowded. Soon there are so many people that men go off to work in the woods as loggers, and miners and then there is confrontation between the people.
As tensions reach their height a voice echos through, and it is the mother. This is her home and we must all leave now. It is evening and late fall, the light is cold and the air is thick.
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Sometimes when I'm dreaming, these things don't seem so straight forward (there was a love interest for me, it was as though my life was there) but writing it down seems so text book dream: the nurturing motherly earth place destroyed by overpopulation and industry until we all get kicked out. Though on a chakra level (I've been learning about the first chakra) this relates as well. Personal significance or social subconscious; or can it be both? hmmmmmm.........

29 enero 2009

First Dream:
I am somewhere, maybe Europe, I am staying in an overcrowded house. There are some people I know well and some not at all. We are all there for some sort of festival. On the day of the festival my friends Brian and Felicity and I travel by my car to the meadow where it is all at. We get separated almost immediately, the two of them off on their own and me by myself. I am walking the parameter of the festival which is delineated by the orange plastic fencing, that in many places has been trampled down into the mud by the visitors. I finally find a trampled place and enter. There are Dalian puppets on motorbikes and Victorian porcelain women masquerading around, there is a gazebo up on the slope with a band playing music that I can only hear parts of. Everything feels film grain and sepia toned, though it's not. Overlooking the meadow of the festival is a marble mansion. Now I am witness to the events, but do not feel as though I am there. There is a bounty hunter tracking a magical woman, while protecting a worldly one. The woman being tracked, she appears suddenly, though the tracker seemed to know where she was going to be. The woman being protected is moved into the thick of the festival disappearing into the motorbike puppets and stilt walkers.
It is getting dark and I have a sudden urgency that I must be getting along to work, and Brian has to drive me back to where we are staying so I can clean up. I finally find the two of them and get Brian to drive me home, though Felicity stays behind, which Brian does not like. In the car I ask him if he likes her, if he wants to sleep with her, and he says yes. I am upset by this, though I come across as more demanding then angry. I tell him I don't want him to sleep with her, and he contests that we're not together, so he can do as he chooses, and I tell him that he knows sleeping with my good friend isn't cool, and that I showed him the respect not to sleep with his friend. We get to where we are going and I am sitting in the living room getting ready to shower when the bounty hunter and her charge enter. They close the door behind them, and then the door starts to pulse forward. I can see this intense energy coming into the living room through the door and it just hovers in front of the bounty hunter. I am unaltered by all this and casually watch the encounter until it is time to go into the bathroom. There are two showers inside claw foot bath tubs. I am getting ready to get into one when these two guys come in and start to shower oblivious that I was there first. So I sit in the steam and think about Felicity and Brian. I am jealous of her because I feel that she is better than me, smarter, sexier, more accomplished and I know why Brian would want to be with her. Finally one of the guys finishes and I take my shower, get out, get dressed and head out to work. As I am walking down the stairs I see Felicity and I ask her not to sleep with Brian, out of respect for me. She is aloof about the request and dismisses me by off handedly saying that she's not interested in him like that, though I am not convinced.
Another Dream:
I am younger and living with my father in a rural-esque area. I go to school by walking down an orchard path. Things are very idyllic. I come home and do homework on a computer, and we go food shopping at a farmer's market and we talk about the ways of the world, and ideals and what to have for breakfast.

2 October 1998

I am at Lake Mac with the all the usual crew but Kayla is also there. We spend the day playing in the sand building things. Kayla builds this incredible sand castle that is big and detailed. Later in the afternoon while Kayla is sleeping the rest of us go into Jessica's palatial tent and are smoking, but we are all paranoid because there is this cop that is hanging around outside.

9/15/1998

I am visiting an apartment complex. Tom Rosse lives there, so does Dave Seckler, and also the Welches. I am having dinner with the Welches and after dinner Noah, Vida, some other people I don't know and myself go out back to this limo that has a time machine in the back of it. We are going all around time, flipping through the ages as it were. One of the people I don't know suggests going to when we are all 100 years old, and I get bothered by this and adamantly argue against it. We would know who was dead and that person may not be able to come back once we got there and found them to be dead.

5-26-1999

Dream #1:
I met with Kevin H., I got all dolled up and he showed up with a full beard but short hair. We are standing outside and there is tension between us, we want to hook up, but we both know that it isn't right. I just keep going on about how hard I've been partying.
Dream #2:
Suzie and I are traveling in a tour bus for several days. One night she gets really drunk and we have to go to the hospital. At the hospital I find out that she is pregnant, and she starts to tell me about it, how she had a fling with this young doctor. She's crying and I am think about Shari, whether she would leave, what would happen. I'm also thinking about the Dexter house and I started to pressure Suzie to make sure that everything was in place and was going to be okay.
Napping dreams:
I'm trying to do something or go somewhere and I am completely unsuccessful. There is an overall theme of being out of control, vulnerable and not able to complete anything.

17 enero 2009

I am at this wedding, and although I don't know who's wedding, it is a good friend of mine and I am part of the wedding party. Everyone is at a hotel, a fancy hotel. Brian and his mom are there, so are Dave and Laura and Zack and Kristine. There is a reception before the wedding and all the guests are gathered. My hair is still being finessed by another lady and as I stand there I watch Brian talking with a group of people, having fun, looking good in his suit, and flirting back with a young lady interested in him. I feel a pang of anger and when he looks my way I slyly flip him off and look away. One of the other women in the bridal party is laying out shots, but she asks me to take one of each of the brands to make sure it fits the weddings "theme". Soon I am drunk, but I have to drive over to the church for the wedding and everyone has left already, though I immediately look for Brian believing that he will still help me. I rush out to the parking lot and Brian is too far gone, with Zach and Kristine and his mom in the same car. I see Laura driving with Dave and a woman I do not know. I make it to them and beg Dave to drive for me because I'm drunk. Neither Dave no Laura will even look at me, much less answer my petition. Finally the woman in the back seat agrees to help me out. We go back in and get my bag and keys, and I am thanking her profusely. When we go outside this huge semi-tractor trailer that is backing up runs us over. There is enough room underneath not to get squished, and the other woman makes it out, but by the time it comes to a stop I am stuck between a concrete fountain and the train wheels of the trailer, and the appropriate refrain is not lost upon me.

8 enero 2009

I am with my brother and we both have to report for jury duty. He is all psyched about it, but I am not. At the court house there are a lot of people there for the selection and there is a long line for security. I am hungry and decide to go get something to eat. When I get back the guard tells me that I am running late so I rush through security, trying to juggle my food with all my belongings that have to come off, go through the scanner and then go back on again. When I get inside there is no one there but I have to stay, so I sit by the window and finish eating. Outside on the street I see this old beat up school bus. It stops and opens it's doors and all these homeless men approach and get something to eat. I am told to go into another room and this one is filled with all the jurors who made it. My brother is up front and I am in the very back. As the trial begins this one guy stands up and shouts something, while holding a giant piece of bread over his head, but it's not really bread, it's made up of cloth. On his cue, several other people also stand up holding smaller pieces. The man is taken out, and the others sit down. On lady who stood up is by me and I ask how he got her to do that with him and she replies that he was very approachable. Then I notice this Dr. Ruth looking lady in front of me, sneaking in a business call, with her laptop open on her lap.