an illustration I did a year or so ago. Imagery from my many dreams

30 May 2004

Dream 1:
I have a white car similar to Heath's but I've let it get very dusty and dirty. I pull into a field lot next to a silo looking building. It's night and I think that I need to clean the car. There are other students there, and we all climb these tall metal stairs. Some of the other students are foreign and we are comparing pencils. I have the gold mechanical one that Dad gave me. We get to the top and enter our classroom. It's very dim inside. We all sit at individual desks and the professor passes out the test. There is a lady to the side of me with a cheat sheet and he catches her, berates her and stops the test. When we restart the test it is on a computer and there are all these crazy physics diagrams with all these questions about them. Either I was asking a question, or there was something wrong with my computer, but when the professor comes over to help he accidentally erases my test, and can't retrieve it. I remember thinking how I should have studied more and at one point there was a fiasco with the pencils and my mechanical one was worn down to a stub.

Dream 2:
I am walking on 17th St. Its grey out, drizzling and evening. I felt like walking. I go to meet Brian at a movie but once I get there I am not interested, so I leave. As I'm walking I see Vida and Noah. They are also watching a movie, so I tell them I'll see them later and keep walking. Them maybe I see someone I know in a car or something and I go into this house/restaurant.

28 May 2004

I am in Denver. I go to Linda's new apartment. She's moving a cardboard stand around. There is a living room area and then the rooms are off of that, and also upstairs. One of the people who lives there is Kevin Smith. I ask him if he'll do a bullshit episode of Bullshit, but as soon as I ask him, I realize that he isn't part of that show. He's bothered by that and disappears into his room. There is going to be a party there later, so I go get something to eat on Colfax. I go to this pizza shop and while I wait, the owner is cutting green M&Ms out of sugar cookie dough. A woman enters and she's got a trumpet. She's older but still very vivacious, and she's got this colorful outfit on. She gets ready to play and is trying to elicit excitement from the customers, but we mostly ignore her. So she gets snappy and makes us get excited. We do, and then she's happy and starts to play. I leave and go back to Linda's. The party has started and there are a fair amount of people there, but people are on something and it brings out different traits in different people.

27 May 2004 #4

I walk into this building. It's a temple. Inside everything is an earthen color, and across the room there is a man bending in the doorway, stretching and instructing others. He's a darker man with long dreads pulled back. The temple is a tantric one, and it feels very old. I'm sitting along the wall on a ledge watching the instruction. There is a guy next to me with his dick out, and he's trying to get me to look at it, but I ignore him and turn my back. Later these intruders with money come in and require the people of the temple to include their daughter in the rituals. She is this grotesque obese woman who is carried in on a stretcher.
Next thing I am in this forgotten room, with dusty children's toys and an old computer. I am with a couple other people and we are looking for something to overthrow the intruders.

27 May 2004 #3

I am with Heath and Jessica on the rooftop patio of some building. It's grey and windy out. The entire roof top shifts in timed intervals from one side to another, creating an overhang. Heath is sitting at a bar that looks out over the edge, reading the newspaper. He tells me that someone won $1 Billion up in Michigan. Then Jessica comes over with a plate full of Jellybeans, and I tell the two of them about my dream where Brian and John visited me.
Soon we go inside to an apartment. There is a raised area that has red bars around it, like guard rails, and then steps down to a living room. We are setting out food for a party and some of the guests are already there. Terry is one of them. After the party Heath, Jessica and I go out walking downtown, but it's more like ATL than DEN.

27 May 2004 #2

I'm sleeping downstairs in Francie's place and I am awakened by Brian and John Simpkins entering the room. It's my birthday and they came all the way out to ATL to visit me. The spark a bowl, but I tell them that we can't smoke here, so they put it out. John has all here joints of kind bud rolled. I hear Francie coming down the stairs, so I stash the weed in my pocket. She seems suspicious, but doesn't say anything. She tells me that Alyssa called and told her someone won $1 Billion up in Michigan. We are all sitting around and Brian gives me a present of jellybeans. Then this group come in, and one of the guys starts to strip off his shirt. These people Brian and John picked up on the way out to visit me. The entire time I am nervous about the weed in my pocket.

25 May 2004

I'm on the balcony of a large house. On the fire escape of the neighboring house stands a man (who looks like a famous actor but is just a guy in the dream). I am in love/lust with him, and he is coming for me. Before we bridge the two gaps I make the man help Vida from down off the roof. After he does this we embrace, and I am filled with elation. We kiss and my panties get wet, soon it's heavy petting, so we move inside to a bedroom. I'm embarrassed about my underware being wet, but the man doesn't care. We're naked, and he's rushing sex even though his dick isn't hard. Finally I tell him I don't want sex, I just want to make out. He starts talking to his cock, trying to reason with it. From there the dream follows the man.
The man gets a job, and falls in with the wrong crowd. There's something about some drugs and some shit goes down. I'm watching this. He's at a baseball field, its' night, and he jumps the fence, running while these people chase him down. They tackle him and carry him off. He is taken to a factory/lab and is serving time. His cell mate (also a famous actor) pines for the family that was taken away from him. The cell mate has a doll, and is rocking it, singing to it. A doctor comes in and takes away the doll. This agitates the cell mate, so he is then restrained.
Next thing I know, I'm in jail also. I'm being kept in a very large building, on a floor that is empty. There are both men and women there, and I pick a public fight with mousy woman. When I finally get her upset I apologize, which confuses her.
At some point in the dream I walk by Michelle and Taylor, playing outside. When I walk away I hear Michelle tell Taylor that they need to go get her a TV.

24 May 2004

I apply for a job at a grocery store/Walmart, and later so does Annie. After working there a day or two I realize that this is not where I want to work, so I try to leave. There are these unruly who keep knocking things down, and throwing stuff. I have to move both Graeme's and Heath's cars from the fenced in lot when I go to leave. First I move Graeme's, but then I have to go back for Heath's car. When I get to it, the door is open, and I think that someone has stolen the stereo and other things, but then everything is there. I go back inside for something and the store employees take me into the back where these "bosses" are, who try and assault me, but I get out.

27 May 2004 #1

Zach and I are drinking, and then we go to a funeral at a large church. Vida and Noah are there, and so are a lot of other people. Then everyone is dancing the tango. Afterwords I leave, and go to the Dexter house. Suzie and Shari are cleaning after the service. There's a boy Graeme's age who has hypothermia and Sheri is caring for him. Then there's this girl Graeme knows who lays with the boy.
Next we are in this large auditorium full of young people. Everyone's waiting for a movie to start. I have something in my hands and I ask the person in the row in front of me, in Spanish, if they need it. On my way out, someone makes an "oh la la" comment, and I retort that it's time to learn another language. I work my way back through the city to Zack's place. I have this dense chocolate ball that I don't want. We are at a 7-11 and I slyly drop it on the floor and continue shopping. The sales lady comes over and asks me to pick up my trash. She and I have words; she's timid, but persistent and in the end I pick it up.

23 May 2004

I-
We go to a gig downtown and park the car. When we come out, the car is gone, and there are all these weird looking cars around, like old electric ones. Then all the instruments are gone. Slowly through out the dream I find the instruments in odd places.

II-
some sort of sex dream with Brian in it.

III-
I am at school and it is cold out. I am trying to leave, but it takes me several trips because I keep forgetting stuff. I go to a coffee shop where a woman is giving a lecture. I pay the cashier, and later the speaker tries to bill someone. At one point I am telling everyone that I part my hair on the other side, but no one notices. I think Kayla is there also.

22 May 2004

Dream A:
I am at a party. There are a lot of Angelo's people here. Brian is there playing tether ball with some other people. Terry F is here, he is getting ready to move to Penang. There is a guy here with a huge bag of weed. At one point I am at a gas station and I see Chad and Dulce, but they don't see me.

Dream B:
I stop by Zach's place. It's afternoon and he is home. We are talking and writing and drawing. He has a show later. I get there when he gets there. A bear cub is waiting outside. Zach recognizes it, but gives it little mind. It rubs against me like a dog; it's got a blond/golden coat. A child shows up, maybe he's homeless, and then he is in the house with us. The boy has black hair, brown eyes and dirt on his face. The bear swipes at the child and scratches it's temple. We clean the wound up and then both the bear and the child are gone. Zach and I go back to drawing, and we draw something that would make good puppets. Zach still has his show later and is visibly tired. I offer to make the puppets, but Zach tells me to either take a nap with him, or to leave. Instead of taking a nap when I leave, Zach walks me home.
Everything in the dream is quiet up to this point, but when we walk into my house on Dexter, there are a bunch of people there, and Brian is one of them. There is a bunch of weed out, and the phone is ringing. It's Laura. At first I can't hear her because of the background commotion, but finally I understand that she wants me to go in on an $300 sack. When I get off the phone Zach has gone, but he left his jacket.
Next Suzie and Kayla come in, so I quickly hide all the drugs. Graeme is in his room, but his room is bare. There is a piano shell against one wall and Graeme is sitting at it, but on the floor. He has long, bleached white hair with chlorine green stains in it. He is showing me what he has been working on at the piano, and although there are no keys and he is on the floor, the piano plays.
I go into my room and Brian is there watching tv. Kramer is on. In the show, Kramer is with a group of kindergartners, sitting around a mat. Kramer leans in and asks all the kids: "Is there a test so bad that we would all fail it?" The kids look terrified. Kramer look over his shoulder and then back at the kids. "Don't worry, I know how to fix (work/manipulate) these people. You kids just go home," he tells them.

16 May 2004

I'm traveling back and forth through the city, every time rushing. At my destination there is this bathroom which I have to go through to get to my destination. Each time I pass through the counter is full of people's stuff: women's watches, earrings and neckalces. All of it is beautiful, or antique, many made of precious materials. I'm looking through the items and I know none of it is mine, but I think about taking it. In the end though I realize that I have no real desire for any of it.
On one trip, either there or back, I am with Brian, and he is driving. We are trying to get some coffee and we are lost. I'm anxious because I'm late and we are arguing. Finally we pull into this industrial yard and a woman I recognize comes out. When I ask her where we can get some coffee, she replies: "Right here," and walks off to make our coffee. I feel better, more relaxed and I watch the rusty machines in the yard. I think about the bathroom from earlier, how in contrast it was so spotless and fancy, yet also homogenized in a way.
At some point I end up in this apartment. It is mostly empty, and has tall ceilings. There is a couch, a television and a large open kitchen. The man who lives there is in his 30's, a white guy who walks around in these white and grey speckled jogging pants. For some reason he and I are at odds and we are yelling. There is, at one time, someone else there, and while this guy is yelling at me, he's got his cock hanging out. When he realizes, he gets frustrated and I laugh at him, citing that as proof of his stupidity. In the end though, it is I who is wrong and I am apologizing to another person who is with me, I feel that I got them in trouble, but they are calm and compassionate.