12.3.1998

I'm at someone's house for a holiday party. There's maybe 10 of us, and the house is near the church on Dexter. When I look outside, the sky is molten lava, but it's not hurting anything, it just is. We leave, and when I get outside it is no longer lava but it is water, with all this marine life, some of which is real and some of which is fake. The marine life is swimming through the air, and one fish swims right up to me. I grab it and try to bring it in to show the others, but the more I pull it in, the easier it is to see the fishing line that it dangles from, and now I see that it's rubbery, not real. So I let go, and it immediately swims away as though there were no rubber, no line.
Now the party's moving, we're driving along 17th Ave parkway. We go to this apartment building, our destination: top floor. While walking to the top floor we look out the window, and it is parallel to the highway. There we see a man passed out on the side of the road. The people I am with go out to him and I go to find a telephone. I ask a group of boys "saben donde esta el telefono?" They give me an apartment number.
The ambulance had arrived. It is night. Most everyone else goes to the hospital, but I stay behind and so does this guy. We know each other well and he has a girlfriend, but next thing we are holding each other, kissing. We both feel bad, and yet we are attracted. This hiding and kissing goes on for a while, until one day his girlfriend call me, invites me over to their place.
They live in a nice apartment building: there is a garden in the middle and a huge sunroof on top. It is very green and warm and humid. I knock on the door, feeling the humidity. The woman's mother answers the door and asks me to come in and have a seat. The place has a very Victorian feel to it. Finally the girlfriend comes out, she looks heart broken: he told her. I feel terrible, I explain how I didn't want any of this, it just happened. I reassured her that it hadn't happened much, or for long, and that we never had sex. I'm just sitting there in the silence.